


Why the Long Hair, Illu?

by loomi



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: But not really comfort, Canonical Child Abuse, Comfort, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Other, Poor Killua (Hunter X Hunter), Self Ship, Self-Insert, Soft illumi, well slightly softer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27378994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loomi/pseuds/loomi
Summary: Y/N braids Illumi's hair, among other things.
Relationships: Illumi Zoldyck/Reader, Illumi Zoldyck/You
Comments: 7
Kudos: 140
Collections: testing waters





	Why the Long Hair, Illu?

**Author's Note:**

> You and Illumi are friends (for now) in this fic. He doesn't quite understand why he gravitates toward you but doesn't exactly fight it. This is my first attempt at fanfiction, criticism is welcomed and encouraged! Enjoy the fluff (if this can even be considered fluff)!

He silently acquiesces, gently lowering himself into a sitting position. After a whole day of begging, he had finally given in. You cross your legs to sit behind him, barely able to suppress the smile threatening your lips. His posture is rigid, tense with uncertainty. 

“I’m going to do a simple French braid, okay?” He gives a stiff nod of acknowledgment. 

Carefully, you brush the silky strands into three sections. No tangles or knots are found, only emphasizing how much Illumi values his hair. The sections flow freely, dangling from your fingers. You stop to appreciate the lustrous sheen in his raven hair. Slowly, you begin to weave them in and out, left under right, a pattern forming through muscle memory. He remains stiff, almost wary. You let out a sigh. 

“Relax, Illu. I won’t damage your hair, if that’s what you’re worried about,” you tease. 

“I’m not worried about anything, Y/N,” he offers. It comes out sounding more like a question. You laugh at his slight confusion. 

“I was kidding, Illu. Just don’t be so tense, it’s actually relaxing to have your hair done. I promise you’ll enjoy it.” He clasps his hands together and opts for silence instead. Was he, a professional assassin, nervous about someone braiding his hair? 

Suddenly, it occurs to you he’s probably unaccustomed to casual signs of friendship or love. A surge of affection wells up, threatening to be vocalized. You swallow it down, barely keeping yourself from reaching down to touch him. That definitely wouldn’t go well for you. Braiding someone’s hair may seem insignificant, but the idea is alien to someone like Illumi. Fortunately, he seems more at ease now, leaning slightly into your touch. The urge to hold him only grows stronger. 

“Why did you grow out your hair so long anyway?” you venture, genuinely curious. He immediately straightens back up.

 _Was that a sensitive question? Did I scare him away? I shouldn’t have asked._ Your panic increases as the seconds stretch on in silence. _Forty, forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, forty-_

“...Killua,” he utters, voice unusually small. You almost miss it. Your hands stop threading through his hair. 

“...What?” you croak, prompting him to continue. He lightly squirms, uncomfortable with the conversation. 

“Killua. I-My hair, he used to…play with it when he was little,” he struggles. His voice is laced with nostalgia. Your eyes widen, surprised by the affection hidden in his words.

“Did…Killua ask you to grow your hair long?” You resume weaving the strands together as an invitation for him to keep talking. 

He pauses for a moment, carefully choosing his next words. 

“Killu, well...he would always grab my hair and try to tie it up. I’d only ever let it grow to shoulder length, but he’d always ask to play with it before I cut it,” he reminisces. “One day he tried braiding it but just couldn’t get it to stay… He looked so upset I impulsively promised to grow it out. I remember how his face lit up at the idea of being able to style his older brother’s hair…” he trails off, almost wistful. Over the few months you’ve known Illumi, there are some obvious things you’ve taken note of:

1\. He has a shower routine consisting of at least three different shampoos.  
2\. His morals, when existent, are extremely skewed. Not surprising, considering his deranged household.  
3\. Hisoka and Killua are one of the few people able to evoke noticeable emotion from Illumi.

And then there are the not so obvious things.

1\. His demeanor softens just a fraction when talking about his family, especially Killua. ( _"He is an extremely quick learner and shows immense potential. But, he is too unpredictable."_ )  
2\. He secretly enjoys sweets, specifically lemon raspberry cake. ( _"Hisoka, could you pass me the yellow one? Yes, that one right there. No, this is not my sixth piece."_ )  
3\. His eyes light up when talking about his hair. As much as pitch-black holes can, anyway. ( _"No, Hisoka. I will not dye my hair with you. It’s quite a complicated process, really, keeping my hair this silky. Y/N, you should invest in this shampoo brand, trust me."_ )

You lapse into a comfortable silence, pondering the intimate detail of his life he just shared with you. You’re grateful for any information you can get about the assassin. 

_Was he always this stoic? How horrible must his childhood have been for him to suppress any and all emotion? Why am I so drawn to him? Is it simply because I want to see if I can make him express something? Or is it his angular features, distinct ebony eyes, porcelain skin, endearing mannerisms, slim-_

“He never did.”

“I-What?” You’re jolted out of your thoughts. 

“He never ended up braiding my hair.” Illumi’s gaze is cast downwards where his hands are now clasped tightly. The unsaid meaning lays heavily implied. 

_After all, how could our relationship stay normal when we’re destined to be killing machines?_

\---

The braid is three-quarters of the way done and you’ve been at it for half an hour. It’s been silent for the most part, with Illumi going through his work and you devoting your focus to smoothly entwining the strands. You want to get it perfect to show how much you care, how much you appreciate him giving you this moment. Illumi reaches a hand back to graze over the unfinished design. 

“Is my hair difficult to braid?” he asks. He pulls his hand back to settle in his lap. Surprised, you glance up from your work as he twists to look over his shoulder. He props his arm behind him to lean on while capturing your gaze. Your eyes flicker to the toned bulges in his arm indicating lean muscle. 

“No, not at all. It’s actually so easy I’m jealous. What made you think that?” Your eyebrows bunch in confusion. He tilts his head to the side, one of his many endearing habits. A few strands fall loose to frame his face. 

_His eyes are captivating._

“It’s just that you’ve been doing this for quite some time, Y/N,” he muses, a slight lilt to his tone. You feel your face heat up in embarrassment. 

_I would do anything just to spend more time with you._

“I want to make it look good, Illu. That and your hair is just nice to play with.” Although his expression remains indifferent, his lack of response indicates bafflement. You gently push him back around to continue working. 

_I’ve fallen too hard, too deep._

\---

“There, all done!” you announce, eagerly stretching your arms in the air. Illumi pulls the braid over his shoulder to inspect, running his lithe fingers over it. His eyes widen almost unnoticeably, betraying mild surprise. You lean back on your arms and grin to yourself. It only took forty minutes or so, but it eventually turned out perfect. Just loose enough so the braid wasn’t stiff, the strands woven so they didn’t appear coiled. Illumi silently turns to you as if to ask, _you were the one who made this?_ You laugh at his reaction. 

_He’s adorable._

“I am unexpectedly pleased with the results, Y/N. This is quite nice.” He’s still fiddling with the braid as if he can’t quite believe it’s his own hair.

“Thanks, Illu,” you beam. “I don’t know why it took a whole day of convincing to begin with, though. You look really pretty. Wear your hair styled more often.” He glances back up with curious eyes. 

“I would consider that, aside from the fact that I am unable to braid hair. It is not something I ever deemed necessary to learn,” he explains. 

Without thinking, you blurt, “I could do it for you. Whenever you want it braided, just ask.”

He scrutinizes you, amused. You mentally berate yourself for appearing so desperate. 

“I appreciate the offer, Y/N. It is likely I will take you up on that in the future.” Then, he does something you’ve longed to see for months. He smiles. Although describing it as a slight upturn of his lips would be more accurate. You stare at him in shock, lips slightly parted. 

You clear your throat.

“Yeah, no problem. I enjoyed braiding it as well.” An awkward silence ensues. You stare at each other, unsure what to do next. Illumi’s the first to break eye contact. 

“It’s getting rather late, so I will be retiring to my room,” he starts, standing up from the floor. You hurry to rise alongside him. 

“You may sleep in the guest bedroom, but I will be leaving early tomorrow morning to start on my next job.” He begins walking towards his room then stills. He hesitantly turns around.

“...Goodnight. Today was fun, Y/N,” he says quietly before disappearing into his room. A wide grin immediately takes over your face. He enjoyed today, and you were the reason why. Your cheeks flush as you make your way to the guest bedroom. 

There are a few not so obvious things about Illumi:

1\. His demeanor softens just a fraction when talking about his family, especially Killua. ( _"He is an extremely quick learner and shows immense potential. But, he is too unpredictable."_ )  
2\. He secretly enjoys sweets, specifically lemon raspberry cake. ( _"Hisoka, could you pass me the yellow one? Yes, that one right there. No, this is not my sixth piece."_ )  
3\. His eyes light up when talking about his hair. As much as pitch-black holes can, anyway. ( _"No, Hisoka. I will not dye my hair with you. It’s quite a complicated process, really, keeping my hair this silky. Y/N, you should invest in this shampoo brand, trust me."_ )  
4\. He likes having his hair braided and played with. ( _"This is quite nice. I enjoyed today, Y/N."_ )

\---


End file.
